Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
