I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have feelings that need drinking.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
