I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You are the jesus of drinking
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
