I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
