i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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