what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
