ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
