So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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