I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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