I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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