nut hugger
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Randomize
