I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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