This girl is more easily done than said...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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