Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
