there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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