batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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