I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So squirting runs in the family.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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