i just google imaged poop.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
