Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
