Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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