Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
try to milk me bitch
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