Got a toothbrush?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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