Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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