I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
