I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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