it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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