Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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