Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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