Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize