this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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