I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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