; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
