the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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