She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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