it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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