So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
