That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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