I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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