I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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