Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
