would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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