you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
