Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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