So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
