she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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