i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
