she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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