it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
