In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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