video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
