Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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