Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
