We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Your penis caused this!
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