why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
