do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
