Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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