You're my little dorito
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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