i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
