dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
