I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
