He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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