Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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