He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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