his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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